Monday, May 16, 2005

That's all Folks!

Well, this has gone on long enough. I figured I might as well let you know I'm done with this blog. Last night I stubbed my toe which I'm pretty sure is a sign that God is trying to punish me for making a mockery of Terri's situation. I figure I might as well quit while I'm ahead - before He gets really mad and gives me a bad hair day or ties my shoelaces together.

To whoever enjoyed this blog:
I'm glad there are people like you out there who have the ability to recognize a joke when they see one and laugh at it without shame. People who believe that if there is a God, he probably doesn't care that much if they laugh at someone else's misfortune once in a while. I'm not saying you should go out and make a habit of laughing at cripples and retards, but if you slip up every now and then, you probably won't go to hell for it. If you can't get enough of me and my inherent awesomeness, I'll still be over here.

To whoever didn't enjoy this blog:
That's cool too. You're allowed to think what you want. I didn't force you to read this site and I can't force you to laugh at it. I hope reading a bunch of letters in no particular order didn't take too much time out of your day and wish you best of luck in your pursuit of non-offensive humor.

To whoever didn't enjoy this blog and felt it necessary to inform me of my destiny to be punished in hell for all eternity, what with the fire and brimstone and Satan and blah blah blah:
You might not realize it, but you're part of the joke. The bigger part. All I did was type a bunch of shit on a webpage which in itself was only slightly amusing. The real comedy, for me at least, showed up when you did. I'm also pretty confident that I'm not the only one that thinks this. I definitely enjoyed the creativity of some of the insults, specifically "You guys think you are funny making fun of her, Fuck you retarded assholes, whoever write this website is probably live in a retarded house or will be,". I laughed at that failed attempt at a sentence for a long, long time. Thank you, anonymous.

Who knows. Maybe one day I'll end up in a coma and the joke will be on me. If I still have the brain capacity to laugh, I'll be laughing just as hard as any of you.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

happy 420 everyone

oh man i am so high right now

Monday, April 11, 2005

Take that, John Paul II!

I forgot to mention that last week I beat the Pope in an eating contest. I guess you could say I was pretty hungry when I got here.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Update from heaven

This place is awesome. Why didn't you guys let me come here 15 years ago?

Sunday, March 27, 2005



Friday, March 25, 2005





Sunday, February 20, 2005