Monday, May 16, 2005

That's all Folks!

Well, this has gone on long enough. I figured I might as well let you know I'm done with this blog. Last night I stubbed my toe which I'm pretty sure is a sign that God is trying to punish me for making a mockery of Terri's situation. I figure I might as well quit while I'm ahead - before He gets really mad and gives me a bad hair day or ties my shoelaces together.

To whoever enjoyed this blog:
I'm glad there are people like you out there who have the ability to recognize a joke when they see one and laugh at it without shame. People who believe that if there is a God, he probably doesn't care that much if they laugh at someone else's misfortune once in a while. I'm not saying you should go out and make a habit of laughing at cripples and retards, but if you slip up every now and then, you probably won't go to hell for it. If you can't get enough of me and my inherent awesomeness, I'll still be over here.

To whoever didn't enjoy this blog:
That's cool too. You're allowed to think what you want. I didn't force you to read this site and I can't force you to laugh at it. I hope reading a bunch of letters in no particular order didn't take too much time out of your day and wish you best of luck in your pursuit of non-offensive humor.

To whoever didn't enjoy this blog and felt it necessary to inform me of my destiny to be punished in hell for all eternity, what with the fire and brimstone and Satan and blah blah blah:
You might not realize it, but you're part of the joke. The bigger part. All I did was type a bunch of shit on a webpage which in itself was only slightly amusing. The real comedy, for me at least, showed up when you did. I'm also pretty confident that I'm not the only one that thinks this. I definitely enjoyed the creativity of some of the insults, specifically "You guys think you are funny making fun of her, Fuck you retarded assholes, whoever write this website is probably live in a retarded house or will be,". I laughed at that failed attempt at a sentence for a long, long time. Thank you, anonymous.


Who knows. Maybe one day I'll end up in a coma and the joke will be on me. If I still have the brain capacity to laugh, I'll be laughing just as hard as any of you.

298 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos To You, Sir.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The idea was great and this site'll always be remembered.

(P.S. My friends and I are trying to have a "vegetative state" party, basically where we make drooling, stale, lifeless faces.

Good luck with the rest of your endeavors!

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should run for president and save the country. ;)

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:Salute: Way to go out on a good note.

6:37 PM  
Blogger kbfunkymonkey said...

u r my HERO

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

R.I.P. blog...

*swallow*

good job u legend!

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my friend laura can be the next terri, she does a great job on a daily basis..especially when she makes this raptor noise.

if u hate lauras, then theres always sarah..she tends to run into trash cans and yell out terri comments in the middle of history class...

shit i think my dog just rolled down a hill...schiavo out

7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my friend miles is a fucking idiot :)

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so today i beat pope moaning swan at a drinking contest in downtown newhall today...

7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all i have to say is 'yes.' ... as in a 'good job' 'yes.' yes.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Lumbergh-in-training said...

too bad you have to finish this.

LiT

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DUNT LET DA DO' HIT YO' AZ ON DA WAE OUTTt

10:45 PM  
Anonymous some rachel said...

I enjoyed it. I would say that every part of it was flawless. good job.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Erik said...

I agree, the real comedy show'd up with the people who don't do well with funny.

I can't wait to see what's next!

thanks.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thats a pretty cool statement. thanks for this blogg. mick, munich, germany

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just think it is sad that u choose to pick on a person that cant even defined her self... but like u said i guess there is nothing that ppl like me, that dissagree with u, can do to stop ppl like you from laughing... i hope ur hair falls out for all i care...
~Cera

9:06 AM  
Blogger little sister said...

Just when I got on the bandwagon, it's stopping.

It certainly was amusing while it lasted!

10:43 AM  
Blogger Jack Roy said...

No, well done.

But even though I laughed and felt terrible and forwarded it on to all my friends, I suspect you and I and everyone who sent an email beginning "Okay, I know I'm going to hell for this..." to all their friends they were sure could take a joke...

Well, we might actually be going to the bad place after this world.

Cheers!

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bye bye, will be missed.....

See Terri in heaven, when I get there...

Its been a blast! and boy are there some weird folks out there!!! (well in the US....christians, fundos, rednecks etc etc)

You flushed 'm out

4:05 PM  
Blogger My Loose Thread said...

Dude. I'm not sure there was ever a time in my life that I both laughed out loud as hard, disrupting countless working bees around me as I writhed in my cubicle, or was left tearing -- thems were tears of amusement -- as I was, when first I happened upon this blog. Sad to see you're leaving, but I agree that you've done so on a stellar note. Thanks so much for hatching this blog in the first place, and again, for probably the heartiest, uncontrollable laugh I've had in ages. I'll be sure to check out your other blog.

4:23 PM  
Blogger 'Thought & Humor' said...

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your Designer/Architect
as well as your audience.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose. A
time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Howdy
Editor

'Thought & Humor'
Cyber-Humor & Cyber-Thought
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Harvard Humor Club
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Harvard_Humor_Club/

4:48 PM  
Anonymous QreepyBORIS said...

I had a great time with this webiste. I'd like to thank you.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are my lord and master.

Way to go out with style and class, thats my Schiavo-mockery buddy for ya!

P.S. May I have sex with you?
P.P.S. No, that wasnt an actual request all you "JEBUS LUVZ OMG U FUKIN QUEERM0 GO 2 HELL" people. Damn neo-con evangelistic asses. Woot for stereotyping.
P.P.P.S OMG THREE? Im sure Terri would be proud, had she been able to do anything but NOTHING.

-Mark

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll miss it, but it had a good run. I salute you, sir.

--X

9:05 PM  
Blogger Full Metal Lunchbox said...

Congratulations on this fabulous blog... and for knowing when to quit.

I believe that somewhere up in heaven Terri is smiling down upon you, in between doing tequila shots with the Pope.

3:07 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

i'll miss u!!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Noooooooooooooooo! Don't leave me! I'll change I swear! *clutches ankle*

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

enjoy your life in heaven terri - we know there are no fundamentalist christians there to bother you again!!!

(and thanbks to Streak for being the conduit!!!)

1:01 AM  
Blogger Andre said...

pansy fag

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Tuxedo Jack said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you; common sense prevails once again against the rampant idiocy on the "Intarweb."

Your particular brand of humor gave me many a laugh with my boss (I introduced him to this, and he cracked up) in the office in the mornings, at home at nights, and with friends who often went "Oh, god, I'm going to hell for reading this."

You, sir, have singlehandedly restored my personal faith that humanity is not entirely made up of oversensitive twits who can't find humor even in the worst situations, and I thank you for it.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!

Should have kept this blog going with going with AutoBlogger. :D

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done.

...and if we're all going to hell for this, I can say there is no finer company than that of those who share my sense of humour I'd rather spend an eternity with.

I'll bring the marshmallows and we can make s'mores and drink RC Cola.

Great statement and thanks for the laughs!

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Terri's Mom said...

FUCK YOU.

HOW BOUT YOU GO EAT A DECRODED PIECE OF CRAP.

ok. the truth is i laughed too. i got sick of hearing drrrrrrrr too. best of luck in the rest of your humorous blogging adventures

11:27 AM  
Blogger Patrick ONeill said...

Thanks for the good work - lets do it again soon ;)

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this 'blog' has been absolutely disrespectful.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The real story of the last moments of Terri Schiavo's life

Story by JOE BABENDREIER /Thought for Sunday
Publication Date: 05/22/2005
Eleven years ago an accident left Terri Schiavo paralysed. She made world headlines last March when a federal judge in the United States ordered doctors to remove her feeding tube. The doctors removed it. Controversy ensued, one group supporting the judge and the other insisting that it was wrong to remove the feeding tube.

Did Terri’s husband have the right to ask doctors to remove it? What about the wish of the parents? What about Terri’s statement, made before her accident, that she did not want to survive on life-support procedures if she was terminally ill? Were the doctors correct when they diagnosed Terri’s condition as a 'permanent vegetative state'? Was she as unaware of herself and her surroundings as the doctors claimed? (The husband claimed that diagnosis was correct. The parents claimed it was wrong.) Even if she was aware, would that change the ethics of removing the feeding tube? I would like to add another issue that I have yet to see addressed in the media. Once we remove a feeding tube, what obligations do we have towards the patient?

Those caring for a patient must provide basic necessities, at least as far as the patient is capable of benefiting, however minimally. Did Ms Schiavo receive the kind of care she deserved? After the feeding tube was removed, something odd happened. The judge gave instructions for an armed guard to be stationed in the patient’s room.

Two police officers stood at the foot of her bed, 24 hours a day, to make sure that not even her own mother could comfort her daughter as she thought best.

This news seemed so shocking that I was initially inclined to discard it as an exaggeration. Without the feeding tube, Terri’s condition was likely to deteriorate rapidly. The controversy stirred up over the removal of the feeding tube was intense. Emotions were running high. People might falsely accuse the doctors and the judge of malicious intent.

Besides, if Terri was as comatose as the doctors were saying, she would just drift away peacefully. Providing fluids would be a nice gesture of affection, but Terri would remain oblivious to what was happening to her. Terri’s husband seemed to confirm this scenario when he said his wife looked peaceful as she lay dying. He gave the impression she was sleeping with angels, her eyes calmly closed as she passed effortlessly into the next world.

The Reverend Frank Pavone was the chaplain. Together with the parents, he was at the patient’s bedside for the last 14 hours of her life. He gave a different report.

"When her mom first introduced her to me (in 2004), Terri stared at me intently. She focused her eyes. She would focus her eyes on whoever was talking to her. If somebody spoke to her from the other part of the room she would turn her head and her eyes towards the person talking to her," he said.

Once the feeding tube was removed, all that changed. "To describe the way she looked as 'peaceful' is a total distortion of what I saw. Her eyes were open but they were going from one side to the next, constantly oscillating back and forth. I watched her for hours. I can only describe it as a combination of dreaded fear and sadness. Her mouth was open the whole time. It looked like it was frozen open. She was panting rapidly. It wasn’t peaceful in any sense of the word.

For the last 13 days of her life, Ms Schiavo got no water – not a single drop to moisten her lips. The police were standing in the room to make sure no one dared even try. The priest once put his hand close to the patient to bless her and they warned him not to give her anything. Say whatever you want about the feeding tube; withholding water was wrong.

6:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^wow. great job ruining the moment.
actually, nope, i dont care.
fcuk off dickhead.
great blog btw.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg lyk my sisterz brotherz momz unclez antz lyk terri (RIP 4 EVAH) n lyk ur so not funni
u r so retarded lozl!!11

8:13 AM  
Blogger stephen said...

RIP Terri Schiavo's Blog.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Laura Tobin said...

I thought it was very funny :) You made me laugh and I will miss you.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Dale Whiteman said...

Here's one last Terria Schiavo joke:
Why's Terri Schiavo in Hell?
For the sin of sloth.
I'll be here all night.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NO! I won't let you pull the feeding tube to this blog. I'll see you in court!

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny while it lasted. major props

5:42 PM  
Blogger eskimokiss said...

lovely. i loved it. for your viewing pleasure:

http://img39.exs.cx/img39/9309/terridoyouwantsomesausage0ad3j.gif

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3 words...FUNNY AS HELL!!!

12:18 PM  
Blogger jonmark said...

sarah should be the next terri. she likes to yell rape during class and she makes weird noises

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i no this kid named miles and hes f*cking hott and oh yes by the way he is running for pope/god so vote for miles! oh yeah and one more thing... *blinkblinkblink* a tripple doosie!

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this was hilarious, but you should have just ended with the first update from heaven...:-)

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this was hilarious, but you should have just ended with the first update from heaven...:-)

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You fat smelly, smelly pig you.

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good times to be had at the LEMONPARTY

www.lemonparty.org

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JEWS FUCKING HERE!!!!

http://www.nobullshitmovies.com/hidden/xxx-pichunterhiddencamsex105.html

5:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's try that again:

http://www.nobullshitmovies.com
/hidden/xxx-pichunterhiddencamsex
105.html

5:53 AM  
Blogger Dorman said...

Well, there was a rumor that Mars, Inc, makers of the famous Snickers
candy bar approached the parents of Terri Schiavo in an effort to use Terri, and her story, as a
spokesperson and marketing theme for the snack. Advertising reps stated that Terri would be the perfect poster child for their "Another unfortunate side effect of hunger" campaign that had been dwindling since its introduction over 18 months ago. Michael Schiavo is allegedly still in negotiations with Mars, inc.

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Morgan said...

haha! oh man this blog made me laugh so hard. you rock!! :)

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone else need an invite?

www.lemonparty.org

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This party's out of control! Free admission right here...

www.lemonparty.org

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You gotta fight!

For your right!

To lemonpaaaaarty!!!!

www.lemonparty.org

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be late to the LEMONPARTY!

www.lemonparty.org

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Old men sucking dick here!

www.elderlycarecenter.org

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a delicious link:

http://melonparty.endoftheinternet.org

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://melonparty.endoftheinternet.
org

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you should have done some sort of AdSense thing on here....would have made loads of cash.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Clark said...

Oh noes! Bye bye terri!

I can still get my laughs from jameth.

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please support the Elderly Care Center.

Love,
Lou Goldstein
http://elderlycarecenter.org
elderlycarecenter@gmail.com

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You DO know that this doesn't make you look any better - Your idea of "humor" just shows how immature you are.

6:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And don't click on the lemonparty link, it's quite famous really.

6:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Immature, offensive and downright idiotic.

I loved every minute of it.

2:07 AM  
Anonymous Deep Throat said...

Nnnggghhh! Uuurgggrggll! Uhhhh, unnnghh! Ahhhhhhh.

12:03 PM  
Blogger njm said...

you've raised the bar for all of us here at dontyouhatepants.blogspot.com

12:40 PM  
Blogger JENsi said...

youre an asshole. an inconsiderate asshole.

6:35 PM  
Blogger JENsi said...

what kind of asshole moron are you? who the fuck says that kind of stuff? you should be ashamed and embarrased of yourself you dirty piece of shit.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

14 la perdi

7:35 AM  
Blogger pc93 said...

Ass munch is too kind a word for you.

http://tekgnosis.typepad.com

12:38 PM  
Blogger Fist said...

You know when to leave a joke. You really are cool.

5:14 PM  
Blogger necrograde_horsefeathers said...

heh. your blog was cute while it lasted. the only schiavo thing i didnt get sick of.

12:19 AM  
Blogger leon said...

Well done for a canadian.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

durrrrr

-Ms Terry Schiavo

9:47 PM  
Blogger jane said...

i love you.

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG LIEK I WAS TEH SO OFFENDED LAWLZ

Seriously though. Funny stuff. Yeah, that's all I got.

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Eddy said...

OMG WTF I AM TEH SO OFFENDED!!!! LAWLZ!!!

Man, all these whiny bitches complaining about your blog are hilarious. Losers.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Heff said...

It was beautiful. like a plate, blossing flower of... stuff. all that shite.

I laughed. hard. It was good.

Again Again!

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this via www.weebls-stuff.com. The moment I realized what it was I went hysterical and read the whole thing. It was beautiful. Better than the Jesus blog on Xanga.

Because I'm self-important and I like to throw my opinion all over the place (as if the rest of you don't), I wanted to say a few things.

For one, you are brilliant. Seriously. I'm surprised I haven't seen this before. I usually dig up the sick stuff. And favorite it.

Not that it's all that sick, really. I'll bet money that if Terri could, she would find this fucking hilarious. You know why? Because she didn't even want to be left on life support. I've been told it was written by her that she did not want to be put on life support. I don't know the validity of this information but I do know this: If I ever go into a coma and have a feeding tube shoved in me, I'd want to die. I already have two people set up to kill me if I ever end up like Terri. Like hell anyone would want to just lie there, life ebbing, for fifteen damn years, only able to imagine what the world is doing without them. What kind of life is that? It's torture. That's the reality of it. Keeping that woman "alive" for so long was ridiculous. Terri needed peace and peace was attained through death. All of the idiot religious freaks that were whining about keeping her alive, didn't they realize that if Terri was the great person they claimed her to be, she would go to heaven after dying? So what was the big deal? Certainly heaven is better than being a zombie.

Aaanyway, sorry about that long-winded thing. I didn't mean to do that, but once I get started I go insane.

Having a sense of humor about such things is an awesome quality. People have to learn to laugh at things rather than get angry or cry about them. It makes life a lot nicer. Trust me. To all those who think this is awful, learn to laugh or just don't read the damn thing. So you think it's sick to laugh at it? Morals are overrated. Try laughing at the unfortunate things in life and see how less miserable you'll be.

Isn't it better to laugh at Terri than to get all worked up and pissy about her?

I'll bet she's laughing right now.

~ "Centaura"
Again, apologies for the long-windedness. ^^;;

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy um... Heeeey... Hey... Hey, hey, hey! Um... Where am I? Who are you?

6:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you there, Terri? It's me, Jenny.

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dorkzzzzzzzzzzzz

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Online Bingo said...

Very funny!

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm terri Schiavo. Hear me roar.

6:34 AM  
Blogger Toad734 said...

Oooh, When youre in a coma can I do your blog?

By the way, do you want a feeding tube?

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Matthew Lewis said...

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

I don't know how many people will read this but here goes. I started this blog but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me update it. I think it might have to do with server problems but until it gets sorted out there won't be any updates. Anyway hope you enjoyed the site and if you didn't well then that's good for you. I hope someday you fall into a coma so I can make fun of you over the internet.

Thank you for that little big statement, whoever coined it.

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You, sir, are a true king among men.

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People in comas don't make durrrr sounds, so she wasn't comatose. That she had the intellect of an asparagus was the crux of the whole problem, but the way I look at it she wasn't going to get better, wasn't going to be self-sufficient even with substantial medical intervention, so she really "deserved" to die.

This blog sort of made me quirk a grin from the perspective that the concept is amusing. But if Terri was my daughter and I happened to stumble upon the person who created the blog, I'd probably snot them in the face as hard as I could, just because she was my daughter.

Though it would have never come to this; I would have ordered my daughter off life support after a month. Cruel hearted bastard, you say? Fuck you. What's cruel is forcing someone to live when they are going to die, a lot of times in agony, and when they are comatose they aren't exactly going to protest and worry about what they are missing about in the future, are they? You don't care when you are unconscious.

Now I'm all worked up about nothing and I'm ranting for no good reason. Shit. Terri, rest in peace; I don't believe in heaven, so you aren't going to give a toss about what I or anyone else says anyway.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it was pretty freakin funny, bookmark-worthy. kudos, man. a job well done.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

<33

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too bad you're not updating after the autopsy results...

6:03 AM  
Blogger streak said...

I thought about it, but what's there to say other than DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE HAD HALF A BRAIN AND WAS MOST LIKELY BLIND MAKING THE VIDEOS OF HER FOLLOWING A BALLOON WITH HER EYES EXTREMELY UNRELIABLE BUT THEN AGAIN WE ALREADY KNEW THAT SO EVERYONE CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT TERRI SCHIAVO NOW

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well played my good man, well played ;-)

5:53 PM  
Blogger Constance paige said...

i swung back over here again because of jeb bush's new stunt to save face... i'm sad this blog is dead! thanks for the fun!

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That blog wasn't cool. It was rude and I bet you if she could see it, she would feel awful, that was really awful. I do have to say kudos for trying to make your life amusing in a sick way though.

12:28 PM  
Blogger streak said...

i bet you if she was in a near-comatose state she'd feel pretty awful too

5:36 AM  
Blogger sean said...

Hilarious from the first view, and continuously so. I look forward to reading your blog.
big ass kudos
-s

2:51 PM  
Anonymous mauro. said...

ahahah great job.
greetz from italy.

1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOOT! Too bad the fun is over... I miss that drooling retard... :(

ITS OFFICIAL, YES SHE WAS A VEGETABLE! Suck it Dave Weldon, u prick. I can't wait till you finally meet up with Terri, in hell.

Ahahaha.....

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Note to self: Send a veggi basket to the Schidlers this Christmas


Happy A Very Terri Christmas!

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1:53 AM  
Blogger Claude said...

lol ... I'll save you a spot in hell!

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you very much for the "terri schaivo" blog, absolutely HILARIOUS!

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow this terri schaivo thing is crazy, around where i live (which is all over the entire us of a) everyone is using schaivo as a term, like to mean hungry or thirsty or in a vegetative state or really hot or they sez "schaivoids" meaning schaivo "supporters"! ANd theres all these people everywhere saying "schaivo" ALL the time! And I am a very "athoritative source" on this because I have a PHD in SOCIOLOGY! AND POLITICAL SCIENCE AND LINGUISTICS AND ENGLISH AND PSYCHOLOGY AND ALLA DAT SHIT!! AND I DID A POLL ON THE USAGE OF THE WORD BUT ITS CLASSIFIED BY THE CIA SO YOU CANT SEE IT! So if you think im not athoritative you can just go eat it mofo! And I'm remaining anonymous because I'm in WITNESS PROTECTION, m'kay! How you going to deal with that hot shit, mutherfunker? i dont know who i'm talking to by that statement! but if i had to guess their name might begin with a "v", like vincent or vicky or something! And this person shud go FUNK THEMSELVES in the CORNHOLE!!!

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo! I'm a UFO, and my mission on earth is to post comments on a blog and then use the same blog as a reference to prove my weird ideas on how "Schiavo" can be used as a term. Hey, if you can't "find" proof, just make it up, ok? Oh, by the way, us UFO's rock. viva la revolucion earth!

2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo, another competing UFO published above that prior comment:

UFO vs UFO

So, to see the "opposition," please see the 2 or 3 posts right above THIS outta the world post, OK? PS:

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Terri_Schiavo&diff=18699552&oldid=18699411

Rocks:

Again:

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Terri_Schiavo&diff=18699552&oldid=18699411

yo! UFO's rock

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The way I look at it, Terry Shaivo has been dead for the last 15 years, so it is ok to make jokes. Time to go watch Veggie Tales.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jacob--

Thanks for the laughs. As one who lives within a mile of the hospice where Terri died, your take was a welcome detour. We are all so sick of the Terri/Michael/fucked up drama momma and daddy saga. Thank god it's over. Godspeed, Terri, and carpe diem Michael...

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Put it in her butt!

11:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he is teh ghey

11:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We (the collective readership of this blog) should begin using "Shaivo" in every day life...

For example - "Yo, that guy got totally Schaivoed!" or "You Shiavoed that guy!"

ETC

11:58 PM  
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12:50 AM  
Blogger ellipsis... said...

Thanks, Jacob

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I less than three vegetables

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You mean, this wasn't Terri's blog?

Man, am I a sucker!

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Ian said...

Fucking hilarious. Just wish I found it before now.

Thank you Uncyclopedia for linking to this in your Terri Schaivo article.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*does the Schiavo dance*

10:03 PM  
Blogger The Disenfranchised Voter said...

Thank you for the laughs, I laughed so hard when I first read this blog back when all the Schiavo bullshit was going on.

Thank you again.

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Anonymous Tzipora said...

http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=april_fools05

Another dude who appriciates humor. I was unfortunate to come across this page after the blogging stopped. But I read through it and it cracked me up to no end.

I personally don't understand the reason for keeping someone like that alive. It's expensive for the tax payers, and above all it's sad.

So yeah, I'll see all you guys in hell. We'll have punch and pie. ^.^

~Peace

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Anonymous Joe said...

Oh knight in shining armor who hast saved us from the blundering hole of stupidity and media coverage surrounding this pitiable, yet easily parodied situation. A gracious thank you, to you, sir, and a pleasant day to you as well. :)

-Many a laughs, and tears along with rolling on the floor (quite literally after searching the archives) and enjoyment
Joe

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you gonna come back to give us an update Terri?

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2:03 AM  
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It is so sad that you can take something so serious and sad and turn it into a freaking joke. This is ridiculous and I don't find it funny at all. And to say that I'm part of the "bigger joke"--get real. Terri's family should be able to go on with their lives without having to worry about creeps like you making fun of their daughter. Grow up, jerk.

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7:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm in class right now, and we're researching the right to die. In actuality, we're all just reading this and cracking ourselves up.

Mad props, yo.

And I must agree...the comments are often quite funnier than the actual post.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For those who did and did not enjoy this blog....
get a life

2:34 PM  
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Video slots on the web has a fan club of there own, people just can’t get enough. Even when news slots are launched by the different software developers they get a standing ovation and are attacked with an intensity of a wolf mother protecting her cubs. It is like the New Years sale in Bond street where the entire population of crazy housewife’s fight over every garment and will draw blood if need be.

Lucky us the since the slots are online there is no such thing as a queue and you can play when you want. You don’t even have to get dressed.

Not that this has any relevance to who plays slots and who don’t. There is clearly according to the latest polls more women playing slots then men. Men seem to drift towards the poker and table games. But here is something us men have to watch out for, they are coming. And they are also coming in swarms.

And since we men can not do more then one thing at a time (at least that is what the women say) we are in trouble. Take Blackjack, they should be better at handling two and three hands then us. Texas Hold’em is up for grabs because of the pace and many factors in the game. So when you are playing against a women you might want to hold on to your chips (and maybe your hart as well) she could end up owning both of them. Women know we are simple beings, and do have this factor over us when playing face to face. All men are suckers to a nice smile, so in all fairness any poker game that has both men and women in it should be played online.

At least you will not be distracted by that nice perfume drifting in from the women next to you. It is so faint but a man has certain instincts and will try to get a good sniff. So leaning in (ever so careful) I still get booted from a game for trying to look at other peoples cards. And I had a straight lined up. Even the big smile I got from the women next to me did not really soften the blow of getting booted. At least the dealer understood me and just told me to take a break for a while. That is my 2 cents worth on the topic of women and gambling.

Signing off for now and heading towards the slots, someone told me there is a good chance of meeting women there. At least that is what they tell me on http://www.streetslots.com

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Alex the Great said...

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to...

Happy New Year pal. In retrospect, this blog and the running commentary made me laugh harder than anything else in 2005.

Kudos.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

ZOMG Terri! I totally sent a veggie basket to your parents!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wipe my own ass.

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You thought this was funny?? Go to:

www.the-jokes-on-me.blogspot.com

ok, ok, this WAS funny. Get off my case.

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hard to believe it's been almost a year since the whole Schiavo controversy. While the Conservatives and Liberals were blabbering about the right to live, right to die, etc., I was laughing my ass off at the cornucopia of Terri Schiavo internet humor. Good times...

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